Thursday, January 6, 2011

My debut as a writing instructor

English became a fourth language for me when I started the first grade. My grasp of English was limited to yes, no, thank you, please (my grandmother insisted I know these last two phrases), and of course the first words anyone learns when trying a different language: swear words. My first grade teacher, Mrs. Sullivan, taught me English by nurturing a love for books and patiently explaining that a gentleman didn't use profanity. She was successful in teaching me English, a language that has become my native tongue. The other three languages I spoke as a small child: Ladino or Judeau-Spanish, SW Spanish, and Navajo. Others I've picked up as an adult have all but disappeared for me. Mrs. Sullivan wasn't as successful at weaning me from using "colorful language," often at inappropriate times. I read on the restroom wall of a bar, that: "Profanity is the crutch of an inarticulate (insert your favorite 'colorful' noun here.)"

But reading has become as automatic for me as breathing. I will read almost anything.  I tell people in writing classes and writing groups that  "I have maybe twenty or thirty years left on this planet and I don't want to waste it reading crap, including my own." I like to write and even more importantly I love to read both my work and the work of great authors, especially out loud. I loved rolling wine over and under my tongue to awaken the subtle flavors. But as I've aged I love even more to roll the words of great writing around my tongue. I like the way the words cascade from my lips, echo in my mind, linger in my thoughts. 


The Lifelong Learning Program at the University of Utah has invited me to "teach" three courses this spring quarter. I think I worried Mandy Self, the director of Lifelong Learning, when I said, at an instructor orientation last night: "I expect to learn more than I teach, I expect to be a facilitator more than a teacher."
She and her staff have been both patient and helpful.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Hip Replacement week two

The entire week was about feeling better and better. The first days (Friday through Tuesday) after I came home I slept on a "deluxe" self-inflating/deflating air bed. I couldn't climb steps to my bedroom. I had to modify one of the downstairs toilets to install an elevated seat. This felt humiliating and triggered memories of the outhouses on our ranch when I was a kid. I felt better when I had to duct-tape the elevated seat onto the regular seat.
On Tuesday I was able to climb the stairs to my own bed!! The in-home therapist showed me how to climb stairs with the folded walker in one hand and using the hand rail with the other. I've never climbed Mt. Everest but in a smaller scale this achievement felt as good.
By Thursday I was given the go-ahead to toss the walker and use walking sticks!
On Saturday the in-home therapist gave me a "wow you've done good" pat on the back and signed off any further need for in-home therapy. Out-patient P.T next week after I go for my two week follow-up chat with the surgeon on Tuesday.
By today I'm walking unassisted but I carry the walking sticks for security. The pain is mostly aching joints and not much different than how my hip joints  felt before surgery. This should get better with time.

Thanks to all who have sent cards and well-wishes.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Hip Replacement week one

Day one-Surgery- I’m told to be there at 6a.m.
Take off all of your clothes. Put on this gown. Sit down and try not to be nervous. Oh, by the way, what are we doing for you today?
A hip replacement.
Which one? Use this magic marker to mark the one that will be replaced.
Both.
You mean you’re having both replaced? Wow! Someone will be in to see you in a few minutes. Make sure you remember to mark them.
______
What’s your name?
SS Number and Date of Birth?
What are we doing for you today? Wow, a double hip replacement! Don’t see those too often.
______

Good morning, I’m George I’m here to shave you. [George is unshaven this morning]Yes, even most of that area around there also. Dang! Sorry about that, did that hurt?
______

Good morning, I’m your anesthesiologist. Any questions?
Yes, I get pre-anesthesia anxiety and could they play Beethoven’s Eroica at first?
He plugs in and I.V. starts saline solutions and gives me a shot of something via the I.V.
Oh ya!!! Wow!
______

I wake up in my room several hours later. I’m thirsty, I feel like crap! But they show me how to use the medicine pump hooked into my I.V. Oh ya!! Wow!
I have tubes coming in and tubes going out. The image of the man wrapped in bandages from head to foot in Yossarian’s ward, in Catch 22, comes to mind. In the book they wait until the bag going into the man’s arm empties and the one dripping from his body fills and then they simply switch them. I can feel the catheter. Part of my body feels like a gopher that has had a garden hose rammed down its throat.  
Day Two—still punching the medicine pump as regularly as I can. Why can’t they shorten the interval? I’m thirsty, I feel like crap. My friend Peter comes to see me in the evening. He brings a goody basket with bagels, a thermos of hot water, a china cup and plate, and Rooibos tea. It’s real Rooibos from South Africa. His wife Gerda is all over being classy; who sneaks a china cup and saucer into a hospital room? Both of them and the Rooibos tea are the real thing from South Africa. I know I’m slurring my words and he’s blurry but the tea is great. My toes wiggle but my legs don’t seem to want to work.
Day Three—Did you get any rest?
How the hell can anyone sleep here when you have to check my vitals every hour or so? You night-shift guys get more sleep than I do.
Let’s try to walk the P.T says. I walk to the doorway pushing a walker. My upper legs ache. I’m off of the I.V Pump but on some sort of oral pain med. I try my breakfast again. Someone should shoot the kitchen staff I think. The jello is so hard it could be considered a lethal weapon. Maybe I’ll tuck it in a sock and whack the night nurse on the head and scoot my walker down the hall to the possibility of a better night’s sleep in the waiting room.
Day Four—Depending on how I do today will determine if I have to go to a rehab facility tomorrow. But I’m walking up and down the hall. Not eating much, not getting a heck of a lot of sleep; the bed sucks.
Day Five—Friday—Doc says I’ve improved so much I can go home today!! No rehab joint for me! Getting into the car is a challenge but I manage with some help to swing my legs in.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

I'm back!!

It has been a while, a few weeks, since I last posted.  It has been a busy few weeks. For several years a friend has been talking about starting a publishing company on the Colorado Plateau. His idea turns on its head the traditional money losing publishing business. Instead it will combine the best of both the world of traditional publishing with an electronic web based platform. The company is called Torrey House Press L.L.C.  The link is www.torreyhouse.com  So if you write literary fiction or literary creative non-fiction go on our web site and check out what we want. We also just fired off a fiction writing contest.

Since returning from my bicycle trip I have been bicycling as much as I can in the SL Valley  to keep my legs and lungs in shape for my upcoming double hip surgery. I'm scheduled for 6 a.m. on November 1, 2010, the day before election day. I'm really looking forward to the surgery and I'm not looking forward to the results, albeit predictable, from election day.

When I went in to vote the other day I decided that I would not vote for anyone who did negative campaigning even though I liked them, I liked their views. I refuse to support bullying! Who would want someone who has to tear down another person's life, who uses innuendo and misinformation as the truth as a friend or neighbor or to represent you in Congress or run your state?  I think a poll I heard on Fox,  by Fox, (It's on full steam at the gym I go to) says it best: 65% of the people polled said vote all of them out.
The Tea Party has some steam this election cycle but they should have read Don Quixote before they started spouting off about going back to DC, as a DC outsider (until they've been there a couple of months and learn how things actually happen) and reducing the size of government, reducing taxes, etc. Ok, I'm all for less taxation, but I also would rather not have to pay the true costs of water, electricity, roads, medicare, agriculture, fuel, etc. Does that mean I'm a socialist?
The "vote out the incumbent, lower taxes, reduce government crowd" don't understand that their idea, while good in theory, is simply not going to happen in the current atmosphere. The denial they and all of us suffer from about who is responsible for the horrible debt we're in as a country, shakes my belief in our ability to rationally think as a species. The last administration created a huge debt and this one hasn't done a damn thing except make it bigger. The recession started three or more years ago, not the day after the President took office. We can not solve the problems of this country if we refuse to look directly at them. We can not solve the problems of this country if both sides of the aisle promote divisiveness.
Change takes time. It will not happen until we start. It will not happen if we can't meet to talk about common ground. The debt will continue to rise. Why? Because if you want to lose weight you have to quit eating as much and get some discipline!  We can't lower taxes and keep spending like a drunken sailor! If I ran my diet or my bank account like this I would be in serious trouble!




If you were going to donate to one of my charities for my bike ride I rode 1125 miles. Thanks for donating.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Twisted Rope

The first part of my bicycle tour is done for the year. I made the continental divide but the wind and temperatures were too extreme to ride further. So, if I am able to come back next spring to ride some more, I will start at the continental divide and head east on Highway 2. I don't know what to expect as I ride across the “big flat” as I've named the northern Great Plains. But we did take time out to see what we could see of Glacier National Park. In spite of the rain and wind it is a breathtaking landscape.
The east side, the short grass prairie side, the big flat, is mostly the Blackfeet Indian reservation. The Tribe seems to be working to keep the land functioning. There doesn't seem to be evidence of overgrazing, unmitigated development. It would be a stunning place to live even with the wind. All of the trees, aspen, fir, pines close to the toe of the Rockies are stunted and all lean towards the NE pushed into a permanent stoop by the wind. There are streams in the draws, ponds both natural and man-made in low areas, and lots of habitat for the creatures of the Plains. 

“That's a great view,” I said, pointing out of a west window at the peaks of south Glacier National Park. The waning moon hung high above the mountains. The red sunrise reflecting from the rocks of the peaks. The aspen along the creek behind the lodge were being scourged by the wind. Leaves exploded off of the trees every time a wind gust hit them. The man I talked to was washing window sills. He was from the Blackfeet Reservation.

“Yup,”

“I guess you get used to it because you see it everyday,” I said.

“I was born here. Right up the road about 15 miles. Now I live up by St. Mary”

“You work here?” I asked.

“Forty-one years I've been here except for two years I was in jail. Best job on the reservation. Where you from?”

“Salt Lake now but originally from southwest Colorado,” I said.

“Did you ever know Benjamin Yazzie from down that way? He was a Navajo”

“No,” I said.

“He and I were in a boarding school together when the government made us kids leave the reservation for school. It was down in Utah. So he came about halfway up and I went about halfway down. I'd never known a Navajo but he was okay. There were lots of Indians from your country but very few from the north, from up here. At least he wasn't Crow.”

“Brigham City?”

“Yup, that was the place. Lots of Mormons. Are you being a tourist?”

I told him about my bicycle trip; that I didn't really know why I had felt compelled to do it; that I had learned a lot from it about people, other places, other environments, my own contradictions. I told him I had forgotten what Glacier looked like from a previous trip to Kalispell and the Bob Marshall. I told him about seeing a sow grizzly and two cubs up Many Glaciers creek. He told me that I had driven by his place that was almost burned out in the huge fire in 2006. We talked about many things in the brief time we visited.

“Have you found out what it is that you were looking for?”

“Not quite but its like a feeling of deja vu, I feel like I've seen it before and its just at the corner of my minds eye.” I said.

He asked if this was a vision quest. I felt uncomfortable answering because I knew what my friend Clifford from the Ute Tribe thought about those words, how they came about, how the basic idea had been subverted and stolen by whites. The Blackfeet man saw my discomfort and smiled. He said he could tell I knew some real Indians and what they felt about the spiritual inventions forced on Tribes and then hijacked back by white people looking for answers.

“Oh,” I said, the word for a yes in Navajo. It felt right and appropriate to say it.

“You know some Navajo,” he said.

“Some, but I've forgot most of it. I learned it when I was a kid.”

He told me that he had went on a personal journey for much the same reason and at about the same age as I am now. I asked him if he had found what he was looking for.

“Yup, it was right where it had been all the time. I just had to do some stupid shit to get to it like drinking and losing my family, being put in jail for a couple of years.” he said.

“What was it you were looking for? If you don't mind me asking.”

“I'm not sure exactly but what I think I found was me.” he said. We exchanged names. His was Arnold. Then he shook my hand and went on with his morning chores at the hotel. As I left, I passed him and smiled, nodded my head to say goodbye.
“Hey,” he said. “my real name is Twisted Rope.”

Friday, September 24, 2010

My first bicycle

I found my first bicycle in a ravine filled with other trash when I was ten. It was a rusted blue color, a Montgomery Ward bicycle missing both wheels and tires. The chain was fused, welded by rust into a tangle of links, the sculpture of a frozen snake in agony. “I can fix this,” I told my grandfather from the bottom of the ravine. Around me was the discarded flotsam of a society that he abhorred. Because of his world-view our family was slow to accumulate these things of the twentieth century and the electricity to run them! Agüelo which means grandfather in the Judea-Spanish (Ladino) that our family of crypto-Jews spoke, was smoking a cigarette of harsh tobacco hand rolled in coarse paper. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and carefully ground the ash he had shaken from its tip into the red earth. He pushed his chapao back on his head and pointed with his thumb at two saddled horses we had in the truck behind him. “Why,” he asked. “would anyone kill their legs to give their ass a ride when we have horses with us?” Indeed!
Had it not been for an afternoon temperature of 40, the 20 mph tail wind blowing out of the canyons of Glacier NP, could have pushed me at least halfway across Montana. I watched in envy as last summers tumbleweed and tumble mustard rolled across the prairie. During other wind events I'd experienced on this tour, like when I was crossing the wheat fields of Washington, I had given some thought to designing a sail to take advantage of a tail wind. But I know nothing about sails and even less about sailing. But I do know a little bit about the instability of two-wheeled vehicles at high speeds. So, it might save some brain power wasted in designing a sail and simply throw a grappling hook at the rear of a passing semi and hope for the best! But given all of the givens it is probably more prudent to get my bicycle re-tuned and return to this point next summer and pedal east. But there is something to be said about my idea especially if there is as much up on the short-grass prairie, east of the Rockies, as there seems to be in the wheat fields of Washington.
Montana looks larger than it is looking down at it from the east edge of the Rockies. Instead of being the fourth largest state what I can see could represent the remaining landscape that circles the rest of the earth; a broad band of rolling flat making Montana the largest state and largest land mass. In the mountains, above, there are trees, cascading rivers, steep rocky slopes on both sides of narrow canyons and then, like stepping out of a narrow hallway onto a large field, you ride right into the Great Plains or what some pioneers crossing this expanse named it: the Great American Desert. Less than a hundred miles north of the point that Highway 2 exits the mountains is Canada. Montana is the northern extent of the short grass prairie in the U.S. But the flatness goes north, way into Canada, past the curvature of the earth.
The rolling hills of the prairie seem boring to casual observation but here, in the grasslands and hidden draws, there is a broad diversity of life. Indeed this ecosystem has significantly more diversity than do the Lodgepole forests that carpet the steep mountain sides above it. The Rockies have a habit of ending abruptly all along their eastern flanks until you reach east-central New Mexico. There the Rockies end in the Llano Estacado, a broken country of rough hills, rocky ledges, broad mesas of piñon and juniper, sagebrush, grasses and forbs.
This place is also highly diverse when unmolested. The Llano, instead of being located on the prairie, could and should instead be located inside of the mountains that ring the Colorado Plateau. There it would blend in to the fractured lands of narrow canyons, broad mesas, and even the flat-earth part of the Plateau; the shale and volcanic landscapes of the Plateau. The Plateau is likewise a highly diverse landscape but is in serious peril from unmitigated over-use exacerbated by a drying trend well into its fifth decade.
In a car driving across the wide spaces of our globe: the short-grass prairie, the Great Basin, central/eastern Washington state, visiting the Serengeti, or watching a documentary about Mongolia, it is easy to think that there is a whole lot of flat going on across the planet. It isn't hard to imagine how the flat-earth thinkers got to their belief. I could have bought into this idea when I was a child. The broad mesas of the four-corners were generally flat. And the blue shale seemed to stretch endlessly from the toe of Sleeping Ute Mountain well past Shiprock to the south. Crossing east-central Utah, on the old highway between Crescent Junction and Price, the land between the escarpment of the Book Cliffs and the red rocks is likewise endless.
The Colorado Plateau is the confluence of sedimentary rock leaping into the sky to form a mesa edge, layers of shale deposited in deep primordial seas, the basalt and lava flows of long-extinct volcanic activity, and a conspiracy of wind, water, and time that work slowly on the mountains that ring the Plateau to flatten them.
This where I grew up: riding after cattle in the valleys of the San Juan mountains, chasing wild horses with my grandfather in the deepest canyons of Mesa Verde or the Ute Mountain Ute Indian Reservation, or exploring the flat red earth of piñon covered mesas. Agüelo was a hard man to the rest of the world. He was a man made even harder by his stubborn reluctance to let the twentieth century into his or our family's life, a man made hard by his resistance to government, change, and people in general. To me agüelo was the model of the love a grandfather should show his grandchildren.
He and I, as his quiet saddle partner, rode quite a bit of the heart of the Colorado Plateau; both the mountains and the arid lands common to the province. He was a livestock man who raised sheep and cattle and grazed them in the summer on the high pastures of the San Juan mountains managed by the USFS. Agüelo and the employees of the Forest Service—the agency that John Nichols named “the pendejo factory (means pubic hair or congenital dumb-ass, your choice) in The Milagro Bean Field War— had a relationship built on fear of Agüelo and their big hammer: regulatory intimidation and distrust and disdain on my grandfathers part. He finally sold his grazing permits after the USFS issued him a “trespass” for putting out to few cattle.
My grandfather said the range couldn’t support full numbers and only turned out about half. The USFS “specialist” told him (my agüelo) that he didn't have the data nor the right to make that decision. I remember my grandfather standing, staring at the ranger who after a few uncomfortable and silent minutes lowered his head and said: “I guess that's all. If you'll excuse me I have other work to do.”
That was the last season we grazed on public lands. Agüelo said we couldn't make money grazing forest lands for several reasons. Our fellow grazers on the allotment wouldn't provide the day-to-day herding needed to prevent unhealthy concentrations of livestock on stream-banks or fragile soils, wouldn't fix fences or repair water holes, and frequently turned out more cattle than they were permitted to. And last that the FS employees weren’t managing a resource but were managing a process built to serve the illusion of preserving custom and culture All of this added up to costs to us that negated any profit made even though grazing permits were sold at significantly less than fair market value.
I wonder what my agüelo would have thought about the continuing issues on public lands. He would have said something like: “we're pissing into our own cup of coffee and can't admit it.” He would also have said:” . . .time to pull the cows off. If we don't it's like you taking the principle out of your savings account to spend today and going broke collecting the interest tomorrow.”
And I wonder what he might have said about the short grass prairie; a landscape that I don't think he ever saw. But I know had he ridden his horse into the prairie from the Rocky Mountains he would have gone into the Tribal headquarters of the Blackfoot Indians and before very long he and the elders would have been in a coffee shop swapping stories about another century.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Last leg of 2010 tour Just When my Legs were Reviving



My internal debate about routes to take east has been intensive. I have scoured the web for notes from others who might have ridden a certain route and I have zoomed in on highways, with Google Earth, to try to see how much paved shoulder I might find to ride on. Had we spent this much time researching weapons of mass destruction in Iraq we might never have had to go there!
My legs are doing well! And the load they're pushing along is doing quite well.
I decided when we picked up my bicycle and trailer in Missoula to try Highway 2 again. This is the highway I rode on between Puget Sound and Idaho. (Thanks to Tom and Jo for storing my equipment. I trust that the Marquis d Sade and the Machiavellian Humpbacked Bastard were well behaved in your garage!)
I went up Highway 93 from Missoula to Kalespell MT. where I could pick up Hwy 2. But the segment of that highway is a narrow four-lane without a shoulder until it makes the turn towards Glacier National Park so I stayed on Hwy 93 (with consistently wide paved shoulders) to White Fish MT. The connecting road hooks up with Highway 2 just outside of West Glacier. Then it's southeast and over the continental divide.
Once again I visited the St. Ignatius Mission in St. Ignatius MT. I'm not sure why other than to show it to my benevolent chase-car driver Shen. She was less than impressed having had religion force-fed to her in Salt Lake all of her life. I didn't want to go there to find anything; I didn't lose anything there the first time. But I find the idea of a priest painting two Native Americans with halos inside of a church refreshing. Especially inside an edifice owned by a big business that has been one of the champions of the single most devastating weapon of mass destruction known to humankind: religion.

But even with the rain and fog the trip to get to Highway 2 has been cold but enlightening. My goal for this last segment of this tour is to get over the Continental Divide and further at least to Great falls if I can. The weather window is closing fast. Aspen, birch, and other deciduous trees are rapidly changing color. Other than mountain maple the colors in Utah are slow to change. So, even though I new it would be so, I was surprised to see the bright yellows, oranges, and reds especially up high in Glacier and the Bob Marshal wilderness area.

Later I will write about the foolish protectionist mentality of the NPS, promulgated by an archaic Organic Act, that contributed to a fire in 2006 (I think it was that year) that according to one ranger I visited with: burned 15% of the land mass in the park and quite a bit outside of the boundary. Much of what can be seen of the fire shows a complete burn. That is: every tree killed and not even a lone live tree left here and there as an island. The fire had enough fuel and burn conditions were just right so that the fire must have been very intense and very hot. This indicates several things but the more significant one is: archaic fire management practices whose managers do not realize or admit that even in “pristine” sites, most ecologic sites are departed from properly functioning condition.
Bottom line:even in these protected areas the “hand of man” has influenced the ecology of these sites. All along the route of this tour I have observed the same denial by the USFS and BLM that most ecologic sites are seriously departed and therefore "normal" management and uses on public lands can not continue. More later.

So, I will post this and then head out on Highway 2.