Hip Replacement week two

The entire week was about feeling better and better. The first days (Friday through Tuesday) after I came home I slept on a "deluxe" self-inflating/deflating air bed. I couldn't climb steps to my bedroom. I had to modify one of the downstairs toilets to install an elevated seat. This felt humiliating and triggered memories of the outhouses on our ranch when I was a kid. I felt better when I had to duct-tape the elevated seat onto the regular seat.
On Tuesday I was able to climb the stairs to my own bed!! The in-home therapist showed me how to climb stairs with the folded walker in one hand and using the hand rail with the other. I've never climbed Mt. Everest but in a smaller scale this achievement felt as good.
By Thursday I was given the go-ahead to toss the walker and use walking sticks!
On Saturday the in-home therapist gave me a "wow you've done good" pat on the back and signed off any further need for in-home therapy. Out-patient P.T next week after I go for my two week follow-up chat with the surgeon on Tuesday.
By today I'm walking unassisted but I carry the walking sticks for security. The pain is mostly aching joints and not much different than how my hip joints  felt before surgery. This should get better with time.

Thanks to all who have sent cards and well-wishes.

Hip Replacement week one

Day one-Surgery- I’m told to be there at 6a.m.

Take off all of your clothes. Put on this gown. Sit down and try not to be nervous. Oh, by the way, what are we doing for you today?

A hip replacement.

Which one? Use this magic marker to mark the one that will be replaced.

Both.

You mean you’re having both replaced? Wow! Someone will be in to see you in a few minutes. Make sure you remember to mark them.

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What’s your name?

SS Number and Date of Birth?

What are we doing for you today? Wow, a double hip replacement! Don’t see those too often.

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Good morning, I’m George I’m here to shave you. [George is unshaven this morning]Yes, even most of that area around there also. Dang! Sorry about that, did that hurt?

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Good morning, I’m your anesthesiologist. Any questions?

Yes, I get pre-anesthesia anxiety and could they play Beethoven’s Eroica at first?

He plugs in and I.V. starts saline solutions and gives me a shot of something via the I.V.

Oh ya!!! Wow!

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I wake up in my room several hours later. I’m thirsty, I feel like crap! But they show me how to use the medicine pump hooked into my I.V. Oh ya!! Wow!

I have tubes coming in and tubes going out. The image of the man wrapped in bandages from head to foot in Yossarian’s ward, in Catch 22, comes to mind. In the book they wait until the bag going into the man’s arm empties and the one dripping from his body fills and then they simply switch them. I can feel the catheter. Part of my body feels like a gopher that has had a garden hose rammed down its throat.  

Day Two—still punching the medicine pump as regularly as I can. Why can’t they shorten the interval? I’m thirsty, I feel like crap. My friend Peter comes to see me in the evening. He brings a goody basket with bagels, a thermos of hot water, a china cup and plate, and Rooibos tea. It’s real Rooibos from South Africa. His wife Gerda is all over being classy; who sneaks a china cup and saucer into a hospital room? Both of them and the Rooibos tea are the real thing from South Africa. I know I’m slurring my words and he’s blurry but the tea is great. My toes wiggle but my legs don’t seem to want to work.

Day Three—Did you get any rest?

How the hell can anyone sleep here when you have to check my vitals every hour or so? You night-shift guys get more sleep than I do.

Let’s try to walk the P.T says. I walk to the doorway pushing a walker. My upper legs ache. I’m off of the I.V Pump but on some sort of oral pain med. I try my breakfast again. Someone should shoot the kitchen staff I think. The jello is so hard it could be considered a lethal weapon. Maybe I’ll tuck it in a sock and whack the night nurse on the head and scoot my walker down the hall to the possibility of a better night’s sleep in the waiting room.

Day Four—Depending on how I do today will determine if I have to go to a rehab facility tomorrow. But I’m walking up and down the hall. Not eating much, not getting a heck of a lot of sleep; the bed sucks.

Day Five—Friday—Doc says I’ve improved so much I can go home today!! No rehab joint for me! Getting into the car is a challenge but I manage with some help to swing my legs in.