The world will end May 21st!!!

NPR Weekend Edition Saturday-- May 7, 2011 
The full text of the story as well as audio is available at the following link:
http://www.npr.org/2011/05/07/136053462/is-the-end-nigh-well-know-soon-enough

On May 21, "starting in the Pacific Rim at around the 6 p.m. local time hour, in each time zone, there will be a great earthquake, such as has never been in the history of the Earth," he (Kevin Brown)  says. The true Christian believers — he hopes he's one of them — will be "raptured": They'll fly upward to heaven. And for the rest?
"It's just the horror of horror stories," he says, "and on top of all that, there's no more salvation at that point. And then the Bible says it will be 153 days later that the entire universe and planet Earth will be destroyed forever."

"starting in the Pacific Rim at around the 6 p.m. local time hour, in each time zone"  So the Pacific Rim spans (by my count) seven time zones. Whose 6pm do we use? Or will the the rapture happen like rolling thunder--those closest to the strike hear it first then. . .etc? It could mean that the rapture will happen as a phased event. So, if we assume that at 6pm Shanghai time they get their "great earthquake" and their true believers start to fly upwards to the gates, the belivers in Seoul will have to wait an hour which means that they should have felt the massive "great earthquake" and be scared shitless! And an earthquake of that size should produce a tsunami wave of monumental proportions. Bottom line: (1).  It doesn't sound like the Pearly Gates are large enough to handle the numbers of white-robed believers so they've phased the rapture. Bureaucracy in Heaven? (2).  The aforementioned tsunami will have reached the east side of the pacific rim well before its their turn on the west coast of the USA to be raptured. But the bible does say that dead or alive the good, the faithful, those born again, will be taken up. No worries!Even though a tsunami of that size will wash most people into the Great Basin Desert those raptured will just be a bit wet. The rest are going to be a bit bewildered.

I saw a bumper sticker that said something like: In case of rapture this car will be driver-less. Cool, but. . . people in Utah already drive like there isn't anyone in the drivers seat. Some use the middle turn lane as a passing lane and others (probably because they're texting) use the sidewalk as a slow lane.
And being raptured from a moving car begs the question: Unless the car has an open sun-roof, the raptured person has to go through a fairly hard roof. I hope they have a first aid station at the Pearly Gates. There are going to be quite a few people with lumps on their noggins.

Personally? I can assure you I will not be on the "get raptured list" unless I have a change of heart on the 20th. What will be interesting is those who assume they are on the rapture list--they pay their tithing, go to church weekly, etc--that are left behind! I've always wanted to believe at least in the Hell part of religion. I plan on having myself cremated just in case there is a hell so I'll be warmed up when I get down there. Once I'm there I want to apply for the job of gate keeper. I want to see the eyes of those sanctimonious, holier then tho, arrogant people when they pop through the gates and realize that they've actually been sent to the correct place. Now that realization would be true redemption. 
On a last note: If I'm wrong and Brian Haubert and Kevin Brown ( the two prognosticators) are correct I'm going to be pissed because I actually paid my income tax on time this year. It would be of interest that the story states that Haubert is unmarried and Browns family--wife and several kids--think he's a kook! Bummer dude!

So, last question: should those sure of rapture pack a light lunch?